How it breaks down

Things I love about being back in America:

• Being able to assume the presence of toilet paper in a public or private restroom.
• Being able to flush toilet paper.
• Having coffee on the deck with my parents.
• Making fun of Nicholas Cage with my siblings.
• Having my own cup at meals.
• Bonfires.
• Isaiah Hoegh and Adam Woiwood.
• Talking shit about the president all I want.
• Grass.
• Roadtrips in cars.
• Eavesdropping on people. (No language barrier).
• Milk.
• Peanut butter.
• Surfing Israeli websites.
• Driving.
• Libraries.
• Insulation.

Things I miss about Syria:

• Microbuses.
• Buses.
• Being able to walk places.
• Male physical affection.
• Mosques.
• The call to prayer.
• Syrian food: Mhammara, zatar, shish tawook, shwarma, apple soda, lebneh.
• Mountains.
• Roadtrips in buses.
• The rush you get when you successfully communicate with someone in Arabic.
• Strawberry and apple soda – for some reason, this just hasn’t caught on in America.
• Getting kissed and called "habibi" (my love) by a guy you just met.
• Leo Yousef, George Jebran, George Krait, Anas Anees, Feras.

Things I've done since getting back:

• Learned to drive stick-shift.
• Traveled 4000 miles in a car.
• Seen Thomas and Kendall Adlard get married.
• Gotten spiritually raptured (I hope).
• Seen a bear up-close in Yosemite National Park.
• Gotten my digestive tract back in gear.
• Taken a drug test.
• Learned to love the song "Dynamite" by Taio Cruz.

Things I had in my bag when the TSA referred me for "additional processing" at the American border:

• Three posters of President Bashar al-Assad.
• A mug with Bashar's mug printed on it.
• Two Syrian flags.
• An English translation of the Qur'an.
• A book on Marxist political philosophy entitled "In Defense of Lost Causes."
• Twenty pirated DVDs.

It's good to be home.