Saturday, May 28, 2011

How it breaks down

Things I love about being back in America:
  • Being able to assume the presence of toilet paper in a public or private restroom.
  • Being able to flush toilet paper.
  • Having coffee on the deck with my parents.
  • Making fun of Nicholas Cage with my siblings.
  • Having my own cup at meals.
  • Bonfires.
  • Isaiah Hoegh and Adam Woiwood.
  • Talking shit about the president all I want.
  • Grass.
  • Roadtrips in cars.
  • Eavesdropping on people. (No language barrier).
  • Milk.
  • Peanut butter.
  • Surfing Israeli websites.
  • Driving.
  • Libraries.
  • Insulation.
Things I miss about Syria:
  • Microbuses.
  • Buses.
  • Being able to walk places.
  • Male physical affection.
  • Mosques.
  • The call to prayer.
  • Syrian food: Mhammara, zatar, shish tawook, shwarma, apple soda, lebneh.
  • Mountains.
  • Roadtrips in buses.
  • The rush you get when you successfully communicate with someone in Arabic.
  • Strawberry and apple soda – for some reason, this just hasn’t caught on in America.
  • Getting kissed and called "habibi" (my love) by a guy you just met.
  • Leo Yousef, George Jebran, George Krait, Anas Anees, Feras.

Things I've done since getting back:
  • Learned to drive stick-shift.
  • Traveled 4000 miles in a car.
  • Seen Thomas and Kendall Adlard get married.
  • Gotten spiritually raptured (I hope).
  • Seen a bear up-close in Yosemite National Park.
  • Gotten my digestive tract back in gear.
  • Taken a drug test.
  • Learned to love the song "Dynamite" by Taio Cruz.

Things I had in my bag when the TSA referred me for "additional processing" at the American border:
  • Three posters of President Bashar al-Assad.
  • A mug with Bashar's mug printed on it.
  • Two Syrian flags.
  • An English translation of the Qur'an.
  • A book on Marxist political philosophy entitled "In Defense of Lost Causes."
  • Twenty pirated DVDs.

It's good to be home.


  1. Welcome back! Let me know if you're ever in Sioux Center.