Jokes

I heard this one from a dear friend’s brother when I was visiting his family for lunch recently.

Apparently, on “Arabs Got Talent,” the (yes, really) Arab version of America’s Got Talent, there’s a judge on the panel who congratulates contestants he likes in this hysterically Arab fashion: “You are a flower, you are a candle, you are shining – you’re in!”

The joke goes like this:

Hosni Mubarak sent a message to Colonel Moammar Qaddafi. He said, “You are a flower, you are a candle, you are shining – you’re in!”

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This one is from a Syrian friend. An Iraqi friend later told me that there are numerous versions:

God grants the American president, the French president, and the Syrian president one question about the future. “When will America conquer the world?” the American president asks.

God types the question into his future-telling machine, and replies, “After 2000 years.”

The American president begins to weep. “Why are you weeping?” God asks. “Because I will not see it,” says the president.

The French president asks, “When will France conquer the world?” God types the question into his future-telling machine and replies, “After 4000 years.”

The French president also begins to weep. “Why are you weeping?” God asks. “Because I will not see it,” says the French president.

The Syrian president asks, “When will Syria win the World Cup?” God types the question into his future-telling machine, and begins to weep at the result. “Why are you weeping?” the Syrian president asks the Lord.

“Because,” God replies, “I will not see it.”